Just last Sunday, I led cell word on Daniel chaptor 6, and did a brief summary of everything right from chaptor 1. Indeed, to live a life like Daniel's is ideal, and should be what every God's servant should aspire to . Point driven home was that, one has to constantly make a stand for God, even though it is tough. We have to. Nobody said it was easy.

Then when the week passes, the road gets hard. You know, when your initial booze of spiritual high wears out, that's when u see how far one will press on and stay close to His ways. And man, it sure is tough. In a world so surrounded by all the funny things, I'm very conscious of what I say and what I do. Sometimes, u just give in for one moment, and, it sucks. Big sigh. It's like, u engage in all these coarse conversations, and although u don't use the same kind of language, the fact that u laugh along with it, somehow doesn't quite let me off feeling quite good about it afterall.

It is pretty difficult to be the perfect person I want to be, and it goes for everyone. Sigh, the feeling of falling short is actually not really encouraging. Strive to study hard,strive to be disciplined, strive to get the best grades, strive to be good in everything, strive to get my friends to know God, strive to achieve many things in life.. aim for this, shoot for that. I need to just tell myself im no superman. Sometimes, I just need to let God work a little bit, and trust Him just a little more. I gotta chill from the idealogy that "God only helps those who only help themselves" but its not in the bible anyway, so its not completely true!

Right now, I feel quite down and I know why. It's just one of those days, especially when the weather is, atrociously hot...

it has been some pretty good weeks so far, and definitely i've to praise god for everything in my life. :)

i was just roaming around church last night after tuition while waiting for my dad. so, havin nothing to do, i was just strolling about the open space next to christ sanctuary, and above the playground. it was a very refreshing time, cos, for once, i've been 'forced' into a moment of solitude, and just 'basking'in the presence of god. i dont quite know what came over me, but while overseeing the road, i was kind of mesmerised at god's beautiful creation.the peace of the place, the shape of the trees, yar everything. i was once again reminded of the beauty of his creation, and that includes the church.

then my focus took for a change. i began noticing all these towering blocks, school and bus stop. it has also struck me again that our church is physically a 'city on a hill'. many eyes are indeed looking at us, the ambassadors of god and i felt the sudden tug on my heart that we ought to live out the way we need to.we need to be daniels of today and let the light on this hill outshine and enlighten.then i started praying for the church. heheh and i walked across the stone inscribed with the words ' i have built this this church on this rock'. yarh, so i continued praying for myself, and everyone to be rooted in his word and abide in his ways and be firm in our beliefs.

then, i started thinking about how ive been feeling for the past weeks. i dont exactly know how to put it in the best way to expess this, very rejuvanating and refreshing state of me. but anyway, my conclusion is that, god's bringing me to a new season in my life. like, plentiful of things are ahead of me, waiting to grow me in his ways.there's this peace that's filling up the void in my heart, and the confidence to be patient in this lifetime for god.its some 'uncanny' silent trust, faith and hope. so while praying halfway, the healing service pple were singing 'in christ alone' and i just stood in my tracks, turned around to see no one was there.... and just stood there and worship. its like, yar, in christ alone, i place my trust, and find my glory in the power of the cross. in every victory, let it be said of me, my source of strength, my source of hope is christ alone.there's this AMAZING touch from god that can move you(which cause tears to well up in ur eyes). its amazing how when god touches you and, u feel that, there's nothing to worry about in life, but just depend on this Rock of Ages, even in times where u think u feel desperate and there's tsunamis and typhoons in your life.

in retrospect, ive grown a lot a lot a lot from backup singer to being a cell leader.ive learnt, and more impotantly, understand to serve god with what he has bless me(even though what i have are peanuts actually haha). there's this adrenaline to want to use my life fully to serve god u know, i dun know how, but yar it'll come when the oppportunity comes knocking.i want to make my life useful

i know this sounds very drama, but really, one day, i want to be able to sing my heart out with confidence :

when its all been said and done,
did i do my best, to live for the truth?
did i live my life for you?

lord i did my best for you,
lord, i live my life for you.

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on another note, i praise god for hongkond dramas. hallelujah! haha k off note.

the greatest joy is to just pick up a good book, nice bed,pillows and bolsters, nice cooling weather, and just start reading.

ah thats what i call life(:

this is my beloved good friend. mr wong (: giam chye chao lor ti.

today, we went out as a big family for dinner. havent had such things in a long time. its refreshing. yupp and its really awesome to see how u shower ur love to pple around u in gestures so insignificant, yet significant in 'loving' towards one another. its like, i enjoy peeling prawns for my grandmother. dont ask me why. i just love to do it. and eating the smallest share of everything, keepin the best for others is like, yar, puts a warm warm smile on my heart. and not to forget, being loved by an elder brother, being taken care of makes u feel so, sheltered and taken care of. yar, i think im a family-home person :)

haha i wasnt suicidal in my previous post :) im just having a hard time trying to understand how the body works at molecular form. gosh, i can hardly imagine haha.

confused confused confused.... CONFUSED.

nugget, its two more papers, and im studying for my bio now. everything's falling on me suddenly. another time another time..owell

i feel like plucking out the life fuse in me, let me self-combust and TOO BA BOMB. ta-da.

ok, someone pull me back into reality and stop me from blogging like some disturbed teen.

*zap-zap*