thank god for helping me pass basic theory. oh god, i had such a huge relief after i see the red word ' PASS '. haha so tmr and mon, it'll bemy first 2 practical lessons. COOL. =) im pretty excited..but changing gears seem pretty tedious from what i read.. anyway, i just hope to clear it nd get my license soon. yipeee!

in other news, im on a cartoon spree right now.(which explains my previous entries) am searching for all power ranger episodes and captain planet stuff. i hate it when pple cut those videos short till like 50,60secs only. the only thing that's boggling my mind now is, should i get like DVDs for the power rangers series online???

DUDE!!! I WAS P1!! Goodness! im now j2..thats like what..12yrs ago lah!! (and christopher yong was only 11!)

let me share da lub wit ya'll!

was having dinner at lei's garden@chijmes. my dad brought his colleague and wife,from austria, out for dinner, since they're now staying in singapore. come to recall, it's really a sad episode for them. their son-in-law died in a nasty car accident in one particular road, and their daughter aint being good mother now. what more, their son, too, lost his life in a car accident somewhere around that road too. my dad's colleague's wife was so distraught that she suffered depression, and still has yet to release and come to terms w it since 2yrs ago. its heart wrenching to see her eyes turn red and welling up w tears over dinner. my heart really went out for them. times like these i really wished i cld have been less asian, be a bit more vocal and said something more. but as i listened on, i realised, they have all this head knowledge, but its just the heart that's unable to accept such tragic facts. sigh, i can only pray for them.

on a brighter note, anita(her name) was very delighted to see me! haha! she said to my mom, "your son looks very modern!". brilliantly, my mom answered something like, oh he's always been very chubby since young. WAH! i dunt know to laugh or to cry. my mummy ah..one head one tail u know.. pardon them for the miscommunication due to accents. but i guess i just reminds her of her son. she loves young pple, and for once, i hear a mother saying " i love your hair! i love all these hair the pple on the streets have! green and blue!" wah, someone likes sk's uncombed, unstyled, and unglamarous hair. thats achievement! haha, now that's simplicity at its best.

so the adult talk went on...

then i realised, there really is a generation gap. my mom said, i love sweets! then i smiled, but then again, i started wondering, DO I???? subsequently, pictorial memories started to fade into my mind. i realise, last time, when i was younger, each time i travelled,that makes it 2wice a yr, i'd make sure she gets those sugar-coated sour-sweet sweets at those sweet shop at the airport before boarding the plane. those cola sweet, key-shaped ones, my apple rings yea then came the time for sour power..so on. at home, i loved fruit rolls, and those chinese new year soft soft candies, gummy bears that i begged to buy off ntuc cashier racks, sweets from marks n spencer.. yar, i really do like sweets, dont i? i started to feel a lil heavy hearted, cos i realise as i grew up, slowly and creepily, my bedroom culture got the better of me. i grew to shut myself off from my family. hardly expressing my thoughts and feelings to them, i chose to go out w friends etc etc. i valued my social life more than my family life. i kinda neglected my parents. yea, in specific, my parents. im good w my grandmother :) we watch hong kong dramas together haha! even tho she scolds me for buying those vcds, she'll watch too.

even now, tho i strive to make it a point to stay home for dinners and be at home, even tho known to some its called punch card(and its silly), i still think its important for me. but then, there's school work to juggle with, there's cell to be happy and sad, and sad about. there's lost sheep to worry and pray for. and all those add up to? loss of time to catch up w my friends and energy to engage in conversations to sustain the friendship and communication. bleah

you know, sometimes, i feel that im an inadequate child, useless and good for nothing. but today, i realise, no thats really not the case. you never know how does your dad is proud, and loves you. one qoute from renita, family members are the ones that can 'never disown you' no matter what. my vivid memories include, 1.unwrapping a red toy car in a yellow box, placed really high up on the cupboard top which my dad bought for some other kids,yet he was not angry with me. 2. how i tried to control and hold back my tears back in my clementi hse bedroom when my dad held me by my arms in p3, just before i left for sch, telling me he's going to go back to phillippines. see when i was 9, i knew what it means to hide my feelings already, sigh! yet he could see thru that. i cant act that well lah! p3 only! 3. how he bought me that POWER sandals with flickering red lights at the back(they were my first pair of sandals!) and my ah pek leather shoes which i got so excited in phillippines. 4. how he allowed/made me sit on his shoulders(note! not piggy back!) and he'd jump/walk all the way down 7 storeys back when i stayed in HDB, esp each new year. also, letting me sit on his samsonite luggage and drag me along with me sitting on it along the common corridoor 5.how he pat my head and got the waitress to get another 2 chairs cos i felt so unwell in phillipines during one of his business dinner. he put me to lie on the chairs, with my head on his laps while he ate. 6. how he was by my side when i had an op in my mouth when i was p6. i was still under anasthetic so i really wldnt know he was there. he must have been bored to death. he said i cried lik mad, but i really have no memory of that!! imagine how lao-kwee he must have been. 7. how he talks and talks about me being the clementeen idol 8. the fact that he talked to me in the car, saying there's no 2nd hand rav4 around. he also said the new one isnt nice, prob trying to con me to like sth else! haha but hai, daddy, u really dunt have to save those kind of money to buy me a car of what. i dun need..told him b4 but still..


my dad is a great dad, but here's only where it's all being said. nth will ever come out of my lips 'cos id get all self conscious. my biggest achievement was writing him a card few years back, under one close friend's encouragement. it felt good, telling him i understand his situation and how sometimes he has to nag me to not come home late and forbid me stayovers and what other kids my age can be doing. i really understand. but sometimes, i still get the angst and frustration.

i really really want to be a good kid to my parents, someone they can be really really proud of next time

Cluster Retreat 2007

Meet : 3.30pm in Church, 16th March 07

Dismiss : After Heartbeat Service on Sun, 18th March 07

Packing List

1. Sleeping bag

2. Toiletries

3. Towel

4. 2 dark coloured clothes (wet games) as well as other clothes to last you throughout the camp and one set of clean clothing for sleeping

5. Proper attire along with footwear (for Church service on Sunday)

6. Stationery

7. Bible

8. Plastic bags

9. Water Bottle

10. Medication if any

11. Torchlight

Optional:

12. Pillows

13. Swimming attire (no bikinis)

Please contact your cell leaders if u need more information.

hi my ol' rusty and dusty blog,it's been a long time since i last cared about you..

anyway, the holidays are here, well and so has the chinese new year hols and my birthday has passed. its a bit meaningless to mention abt it right now, isnt it? but having said that, ive not even blogged down anything from last yr's youth camp! HAHA!

ive had tests after test, and its clearly -CLEARLY- not a good sign to fail almost every one of it.and i hate this feeling of, failing like nobody's business at the start and doing fairly well at the end of the day. i mean, i know i can do it, and i hate myself for this kind of bo-chap-ness.

cell leading has just started, and it represents many MANY new challenges. it is really pushing me to my limits(as in my abilities, not my temper! haha)and nudging me to be more than i what i think i should do, which i thought was 'enough'. nonetheless, i embrace it with joy from the Lord, for it is my strength..(we bow down and worship him now..how great how awesome is He..together we sing..holy is the lord god almighty...)

cluster retreat is coming, and im kinda in a fluster cos everything's still not quite tight, but am trusting god with his wonderful plans and let him prove himself mighty in situations like these. =)

ive still homework to finish but im slacking.. so much for strategic planning, but without motivation...actually, discipline i mean..

im irate by the fact that, it only takes one to bring me down, even thought i may have 7 other joys to be thankful for. then sometimes, i wonder,what for.. but then, its just a personal goal that i wish to overcome so that at the end of the day,i can say, I HAVE DONE IT!! WELL DONE SK!!

i know u must be kinda confused reading my entry, cos u thought u kinda know what im saying, yet somehow maybe u dont. its ok, sk's just rambling.

sk's tired...